Sugar and Spice

I have a daughter. I adore my daughter.

I do not, however, adore the way little girls are growing up much quicker than they are ready. My little girl is nine and in so many ways still a little girl. She plays with Barbies, she asked for a new American Girl doll for Christmas, she is silly and laughs, and could not care less about her clothes or hair. 

She is also growing more independent and mature. She is thoughtful, she is helpful in completing chores, she is learning how to be a better example for her brother. She comes to talk to me when she is concerned about a situation with a friend. She wants to talk to a neighbor about Jesus.

Recently, she had a sleepover with a friend from school. This friend normally doesn't play with Barbies. But she spent hours playing in Abby's room. She talked about friends in class (fourth grade mind you) "dating" and being "dumped". What?? Really?

Sadly, I am learning that this is all too common. It breaks my heart the kids are growing up so fast. It saddens me even more when I see parents encouraging this behavior. Parents find it cute that their little one has a boy/girlfriend. Parents buy clothes that are a little too grown up for their daughters. Parents allow their girls to wear make up way too early.

Why push our kids to adulthood so quickly? If we rush them to grow up now, what is there to look forward to when they are teenagers? Earlier this school year, I passed our middle school as students were arriving for their homecoming dance. The girls were dressed fit for a high school prom and I even passed a LIMO as it was dropping off kids! A limo! For 7th graders? WHY?

I parent my child for the age she is and she knows what we will and will not allow in our home. She gets to be a little girl for such a short time, I want her to enjoy every moment. Actually, her school has had dances for her grade. She has not attended and she knows that she will not be allowed to attend in the future. I think it sends the wrong message to kids. Schools are quick to address promiscuity in students, yet encourage kids to attend dances beginning at age nine.

 Parents have the right and responsibility to say NO to these things. We do not have to force our kids to grow up. It is ok for boys and girls to play with toys. It's ok for them to want to play outside and use their imagination. It's ok for them to wear clothes that are appropriate for their age. It's ok for them not to watch the shows on tv that portray teen situations such as kissing and dating. It's ok to say no to these things and many more.

I love that Abby is still a little girl. I love that she wants me to fix her hair. I love that she wants me to sing her a bedtime song, even when she has a friend sleep over. I am thankful that I get to be her mommy.