Love my Child

I am the mommy to two kids who, on any given day, are the light of my life. The other days not so given are tough.

My son. Reading my past posts you will see several referring to the challenges of my son. Since birth he has been tough. I love him more than ever, but most days are tough. Last year, he was officially diagnosed with ADHD, though, I could have told you that they day he was born. Over the past year, we have sought counseling help along with medication (not up for debate, so, please don't go there). In talking with his counselor, it was also noted that Henry, along with ADHD, has many symptoms of ODD (oppositional defiance disorder). Again, I so knew that long ago.

We sought help for Henry because he began having all sorts of trouble in school. He was being defiant, would not complete tasks as necessary, sitting still and following instructions were not even on his radar. He did not walk, but bounced everywhere he went. After seeing this at school and noticing his behavior at home decline, we had to do something. He's a smart kid and his bouncing and behavior were effecting his ability to do well in school.

Making the decision to seek help was tough, but I was exhausted and did not know what else to do. Calling a place that has the word "psychiatric" for my then 5 year old was not easy to do. Am I glad I called and got his official diagnosis? Yes. Is life a cake walk now that he's getting counseling and on meds? Absolutely NOT.

Daily life is still a struggle. Henry, in addition to his behavioral issues, also has a very hard time making friends. He just doesn't seem to connect with others like kids normally do. Now, he does not meet a stranger and usually meets kids at the park and other places with ease, but he has a tendency to go off by himself. As a mom, it's hard to watch. He just doesn't connect with his peers. I would love for him to have a friend to play with and to have sleepovers, but right now, he does not. I'm not sure how to help him.

Emotionally, he is immature too, I think. We are in a spell where he will hit the ground and cry like he's two. He's six. Not fun to watch. But, that's where I think the ODD comes in to play. He knows how to push buttons and what triggers will bring on arguments. He acts this way knowing the expected response. I'll be honest, most of the time, he sees what he wants. I try very hard to not react, but I am learning (and failing) daily when it comes to Henry. It is truly moment by moment at our house. And bedtime is precious. When he goes to be on time.

He's a smart kid, loves to learn, loves to play, loves to aggravate, and wants to be a champion skateboarder or BMX racer. He has the best smile and surprises me by sweet moments. He makes me want to pull my hair out. But, he is my son. He is the one chosen by God for me. He is the one who will grow to be a great leader. He will make me proud and break my heart a million times and I will keep coming back for more.

So, if you see a kid like Henry, be patient. Honestly, ADHD is not due to bad parenting. He cannot stop his impulses. These are kids who are like "normal" kids and want to be a part of the world and not spend it in time-out. These are kids who, given the chance, will excel beyond our wildest imaginations. I love my kid and there are many days where I wish he could just stop, but then, that would be changing him. God made him like that and made me strong enough to endure.